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Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. The online dating world for most is overwhelming when it comes to options, but if you have a sexually transmitted infection or disease, the pool can seem a lot smaller. Most people are introduced to these infections and diseases as a consequence of having unprotected sex or having multiple partners, Pierce says, and this further adds to the stigma.
On top of this, some people just have infections and not diseases. Pierce says for starters, anyone with the disease or infection should know exactly what they have. This is a good first step to find people who have gone through the same experience, she says. In turn, someone with an STI could meet someone without an infection, but who is open to the idea of being with someone who does. In this situation, education is key, she says, and you have to be direct and confident to bring up the conversation as it comes.
This, of course, is something only people with that STI would know. For example, herpes is If you want people to know you are STI- or STD-positive, add it your profile page to weed out people who consider it a deal breaker. This is different for every dater, Pierce says.
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This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. I find dating to be humiliating and exhausting: Each time I get rejected because of it, it makes me less likely to try again. How can I feel less discouraged about trying to date with herpes? And how do I tell someone I want to be intimate with? How did we become so insensitive about sexually transmitted infections?
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I wish it weren’t true, but I have contracted the virus for genital herpes. And, one of the greatest dichotomies is that the VERY thing, for me, that demonstrates my true love for a man is to have an intimate sexual relationship with him. I’ve given myself to very few men over the years, and one of these very few men who happens to be married, but we are in an open relationship together with his wife’s consent, we are essentially “friends with benefits” ; well, he was someone that I’ve always believed cared for me.
He is someone I’ve always felt loved me enough to protect me and keep me safe. And yet, he passed this virus onto me. I can’t tell you how betrayed I feel. And what makes this whole situation even worse is that he TOLD me he had it and I didn’t take any precautions to protect myself. I am so ashamed. I’ve even told my friends that “he didn’t know he had it” because I can’t even admit to myself that I didn’t look out for myself the way I should have. The thing I am struggling so deeply with is that I want to have a partner, a totally exclusive partner, not someone who is married and “allowed” to be with another woman.
It has never been my desire to be in a relationship like this.